Last week was the initial child care licensing inspection for Bonnington Blossoms. We are so lucky to have such a positive and helpful licensing officer. Now that we have our final to do list, each day has been full of projects for the children’s centre. I love working on these projects. I find myself feeling full of passion and excitement whenever I begin to work. Today I made a pathway going from our front walkway, all the way around the house, to the entrance of the child care centre, which is in the back of our home. The fence around our backyard is still a work in progress, but it is coming along nicely. The inside of the children’s centre is mostly ready as well, but we still need to put in some hooks for children’s coats and bags and move the fridge into the space.
As the mom of two girls, 22 months and 4.5 years old, I am having a very good time creating a children’s centre with a lot of input from my own little ones. I am starting this business with my whole family, which is so wonderful. Ever since we decided to start a child care centre from our home, our family life has become very full of tasks for the centre. This has been fun at times and challenging at others.
I am entering back into the professional world as an Early Childhood Educator, for the first time since I have become a mother. I have been finding it so helpful, and necessary, to focus on staying grounded and centered through self-care. Whenever my youngest has her daily nap, I take time for self-care. Usually it takes the form of yoga, meditation or making music in our beautiful backyard with the mountains, trees and birds to keep me company.
My 4 year old loves to join me during these times. She has even been teaching me some of her yoga postures. Today she showed me one and explained how it helps us connect with the earth and all the creatures living on it. I am so lucky to be surrounded by such love and wisdom.
Of course, living with two young children isn’t all about connecting with the earth and her creatures. It is often filled with fussing and tantrums too. A few days ago my 4 year year old had a meltdown at Lakeside park. It started just after I ordered our lunch, and lasted throughout our entire lunch, into the car and until we got home and had a cuddle.
I understood why she was having a hard time. We had just had a very full weekend with two late nights in a row. Dancing at Market Fest in Nelson and then a camping trip to Wragge Beach. She was tired, and her meltdown was completely understandable, from my perspective.
I noticed several people looking our way, and I knew that some were likely bothered by her screams. I disregarded the inclination to try to get her to stop crying, and instead I made space for her emotions and supported her through her uncontrolled outburst of frustration.
I recently watched a video on the attachment-based model of child development with developmental psychologist, Dr Gordon Neufeld. In the video, he says that it is completely healthy and expected for children to have a difficult time managing their emotions. Through tantrums and crying, their brains actually adapt and build resilience to what is going on in their surroundings. He says that ideally, there will be room for ALL emotions in the parent-child relationship. This includes grumpiness, screaming and crying.
Through the parents’ acceptance of the child’s emotions, and being allowed to go through their emotional process, the child actually develops emotional maturity, learns self-control and is able to share their emotions responsibly. Eventually, that is.
I really try my best to always acknowledge and accept the emotions my children are expressing. It is a challenge at times, and I find motherhood to be a huge opportunity for growth and learning. I am so grateful that there are people studying child development and sharing their findings with the general public.
Here is a link to the video of Dr Gordon Neufeld on the attachment-based model of child development. I hope you find it as informative and inspiring as I did.
I am really looking forward to this weekend, as I will be making music and crafts in the Kids Tent at the Kaslo Jazz Fest, all day Saturday and Sunday. I hope to meet many more families from the Kootenays and enjoy all the fun that the festival has to offer. Hope to see you all there!